What can one say about these two years?

Well, we hold simply to the tradition, which we controlled in perfection?

But we have no aversion to fun that is why here are some jokes.
Of course in English!

Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!!!
It scared me (I'm a man) so bad, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!!!!!!!

"Waiter, waiter, there?s a fly in my soup!"
"Don?t worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it."

DOCTOR: "Did you drink your orange juice after your bath?"
PATIENT: "After drinking the bath I didn?t have too much room for the orange juice."

Doctor, doctor, I lost my memory."
"When did this happen?"
"When did what happen?"

COLIN: "You remind me of the sea."
ANN: "Because I?m so wild, reckless and romantic?"
COLIN: "No, you make me sick."

"I?ve lost my dog."
"Why don?t you put an advertisement in the paper?"
"Don?t be silly - he can?t read."

"How do you spell "Crocodile"?"
"K-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l."
"The dictionary spells it "C-r-o-k-o-d-i-l-e"."
"You didn?t ask me how the dictionary spelt it."

PUPIL: "Would you punish a pupil for something she didn?t do?"
TEACHER: "Of course not.?
PUPIL: "Good, I haven?t done my homework."

TEACHER: "If I had forty apples in one hand and fifty in the other, what would I have?"
PUPIL: "Big hands."
TEACHER: "Did your big brother help you with your homework?"
PUPIL: "No, miss, he did all the work himself."

MOTHER TO SON: "Come on, you?ll be late for school."
"Shan?t," came the reply from the bedroom.
"Why, what?s wrong?"
"The teachers hate me and the kids despise me."
"I?ll give you two good reasons why you should go."
"What are they?"
"One - you?re forty-one, and two - you?re the headmaster."

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-- His reply

An English man and Irish man and a blonde are at a cliff top!! An angel comes along and tells them that they are to jump off the cliff and whatever they shout out, they will become it!!
The English man jumps and shout out "Eagle" and he becomes an eagle and flies away!!!
The Irish man shouts out "Dove" and he becomes a dove and flies away!!!
The blonde moves forwards, trips and Yells "SHIT"!!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive BLONDE female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which the BLONDE replied, "There certainly is! "My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Drunk Test
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser tube."
The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a haemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."

To put it in a nutshell it was really quiet,
but sometimes funny and we learned a lot especially about English-language
newspapers and the history of the British Royal Family.

Thank you Mrs Beck for bearing our silence